I Will Not Cry – Writetober / Inktober #9
I will not cry.
I love my daughter so much. I Miss walking with her. Her holding my pinky in her hand. Her being both curious and afraid of everything the world has to offer and me being the one to teach her and to protect her.
My heart hurts when I think about it.
My chest aches when my heart hurts.
My eyes get teary when my chest aches.
I can feel pain in my teeth when my eyes get teary.
I know that I am not supposed to dwell on the past. I love my daughter still. I love the woman that she is growing up to be. At the minute, she is a teenager. She doesn’t need me like she did. She doesn’t hold my pinky anymore. She goes out with her friends instead of her dad. She has a life that I know nothing about.
I hear her make decisions. I am proud at the choices she makes. It is the only thing that brings me back to normalcy. It tells me that I must have done something right.
People tell me that one day, one amazing day, my daughter will come back to me and want me in her life. Some say sooner rather than later, and vice versa. I just hope it happens.
I wonder if my mother feels the same way about me?
If that’s true, then I have failed her miserably. I don’t think I ever came back.